Goodbye to a loving companion - how do you cope with losing a pet?

Toots

I have to say I lost my kitten - the one cat of my adult life that was truly mine from when she was a kitten. There was Toots whose companionship and intimacy was so intense that when she went I was a mass of tears.  (A bloke doesn't normally admit to that) My flatmate, unable to stand the sight of me wandering around with long face and lost look, found a kitten and declared her as a Christmas present. This was in 1998 and Sophie, as she became named, came with me from New Zealand and lived with me here in the UK.

So what happens when the creature who shares your life, takes up space on your bed, your lap, demands, and gets love, play and care is no longer there?

If you are like me then you sob, or shed tears every time you see her picture - I have one  on my desk - and remember the purring, the claws of play fighting, the fussy food fads, and the welcome purr-meow when I come home.

Sophie

Poor Sophie suffered old age but was comfortable, active and happy although as she aged she became quite deaf but always loved the place on my lap, the cuddle in bed and small treats, fresh meat for tea as well as her biscuits and cat-food.  She loved the play with a piece of string and scratched at her post but as she got older she could not keep up with the growth of her claws and placidly allowed me to clip them neatly.

But, sadly she developed a growth in her tummy that grew quickly and so we had to end her life. I was there at the end, managed to hold it in long enough to take her to be cremated and bring her ashes back to lay near my workspace.

Right, so now what?

The owner of my local cattery is a member of the Cats Protection Society and has always had association with the RSPCA.

I had booked  a holiday in Ireland for the first week in June, and poor Sophie was supposed to be looked after in the cattery whilst I wandered around Ireland drinking Guiness. So I had to wait and that was the key.

The waiting helped.

I could not replace Sophie.  Like Toots before her she had taken her place in my life as a intently as any other relationship and there is no way another animal/person can take the place of a creature you love as intensely as I did Sophie.

I was introduced to a three year old tortoiseshell female named Roxy, whose start in life was not good. She was scruffy, showing the signs of ill treatment but was responsive to being fussed. I was hooked and so agreed to take her on.

I re-named her Mixie because of her markings and at first she hid up but soon she responded to feeding and care. Her skin lost its scars and marks; her fur is thickening up and looking bright and healthy and she is putting on weight.

Mixie will not remove the memory of Sophie, as Sophie did not of Toots, but she is taking her place in my life and already after only six weeks or so is settling in to the household and helping me cope with losing a pet.

Mixie is helping me say goodbye to my loving companion Sophie, but I shall never forget her.

Mostly it is that sudden break, the fact that you can do very little but watch your pets grow old, nurture them from kitten to cat and hope that what you do makes their lives happy in return for the pleasure and companionship they give you.

Mixie

Although I could see my Sophie growing old, watch her fail and knew that she was needing more and more medical attention, I was still not prepared for her passing.

I know that living without a cat is not what I want and so I was prepared to find another one. Sophie was my kitten and I could do things like clipping her claws, cleaning her ears (gently) and being her servant, as you do with cats.

I suppose what you have to do is remember the best times, savour the fun you have with the departed pet and treat the newcomer as lovingly as its predecessor.  I hope I can give of myself to Mixie as much as I did to Sophie and to
Toots before her.

We shall see.